Okay, you sniffling, desperate Bridget Jones types out there, listen up! Quit moaning that you don't have a man in your life. Having a partner is not the be-all or end-all of your girl power existence.
Fine, you need them for sex, and to make all these wonderful babies, but can't you for one period in your life be thankful that you actually don't have a man? Here are thirty-two — yes, 32, treinti dos, trente-deux — reasons for you to celebrate the single life. Put a stopper to those tear ducts and read. You'll be laughing and nodding your head in agreement in no time:
- You have the bed and closet space to yourself. Yipee! It’s time to buy more shoes.
- You can stay in the bathroom for hours on end.
- You do not have to shave your legs and armpits everyday.
- There is no need to fake an orgasm. And you can scream any man's name while you pleasure yourself.
- You don't have to fight for remote control ownership.
- There are no pairs of shoes left in the middle of the floor to trip over at six in the morning.
- You control your finances and you don't hear some know-it-all male voice telling you how stupid you were to have invested in this-and-that company. If you screw up, it's your fault and you can deal with that.
- You can be moody without anyone trying to find out if something's wrong.
- There's no one to dribble on your pillows.
- You wake up each morning without hearing the sound of snoring.
- You can go out and not have to explain yourself to anyone where you've been or what you've been doing and whom you've been with.
- There is no more need to hide the stuff you purchased at the mall.
- You can speak your mind to him (now that you've broken up) with no inhibitions and without the need to keep the peace.
- You can be rude to his family.
- You can eat what YOU want.
- You can join a gym because you want to.
- You can be rude to his boss.
- You can chat on the phone for hours without having to justify it.
- You no longer have to excuse his embarrassing behavior to anyone.
- You can do a smelly fart without-being told it's 'unladylike'.
- You are entitled to an opinion!
- You don't have to take being called a 'man hater' just because you disagree with what he says (let's face it; they're usually always wrong anyway).
- You can wear granny-type underwear without caring that there might be a 'spontaneous going down' session on the cards.
- You don't have to listen to him hyperventilating every time a Kylie Minogue video appears on MTV.
- You don't have to worry about leaving your used sanitary napkin lying around, unwrapped and smelling like wet rusty metal.
- You don't have to fight with anyone over an uncapped tube of toothpaste.
- You don't have to wash his smelly socks, smelly gym clothes, smelly everything and anything!
- There is nobody to criticize your driving!
- No more fights about the toilet seat cover.
- You can have over at your place the gay friends that he's always hated. You can now act outrageously with them without hearing the he-man voice snarling, "Death to fairies!"
- You can flirt with anyone, even his brother.
- You can celebrate his birthday...by buying yourself a gift with the money you normally allocate for that occasion. And you deserve it, girl!
